Medicine for Msjinkzd

[in the pines]

Ogre, your stories! :rofl:

The squirrels of Hermann Park are pretty impressive. I grew up in Houston and didn't know any different until I moved elsewhere, but most squirrels aren't the size of a dog and bold enough to eat from your hands. That's how we grow them in Texas though. And the Heights in Houston has black squirrels! I don't know if you've ever run across one, but black squirrels sightings had been reported to me but until I moved into the Heights I never believed it.

 

[catnipgal]

My first knee surgery was on my left knee. In preping me for the surgery, they gave me a black marker and told me to write YES on the knee to be operated on, and NO on the other knee.

So I wrote YES on the left knee. And wrote NO on the right knee, and added SEE OTHER KNEE - and drew arrows pointing to the other knee.

So they operated on the correct knee!!

NIPS

 

[emptywallet]

okay i got a joke
everytime this OSU fan drives by a person wearing a michigan state jersey he always jerks towards them just short of hitting them. one day he was driving and he saw a priest on the side of the road so he picked him up. when he was driving he saw a michigan state fan so he swerves towards him and hears a thump in the back seat and he turns around and apologizes to the priest and the priest said
"dont worry i got him"

 

[jpittman_56]

TOP TEN THOUGHTS

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Please PM me for this one....

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $0.30?

Number 2
In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

And the BONUS thought for today

'Life is like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, might burn your *** tomorrow'

 

[Redneck Woman]

Hope your feeling better Rachel!

 

[Rbishop]

ahem....

 

[Rbishop]

Lets please remember this is a family forum and keep the postings appropriate please. Thanks.

 

[catnipgal]

almost sound like wetting one's pants is a better alternative. roflol
kidding

 

[msjinkzd]

youo guys can pm me any "off color" jokes, lol. Ogre, i would love more stories, you have a very engaging writing style and I really enjoyed them

 

[Sweetheart]

This is a blonde joke:

This lady went into a store and said "sir, I would like to buy that tv". The man said "Sorry no blondes aloud". So the next day she came back with black hair and said "Sir I would like to buy that tv". The man said "Sorry now blondes aloud".The next day she came back with red hair and said "Sir I would like to buy that tv" the man said " Sorry now blondes aloud". The next day she came back with brown hair and said "Sir I would like to buy that tv" And again the man said "Sorry no blondes aloud". She through her wig down and said "HOW DO YOU KNOW I'M BLONDE!!" The man said "because that's not a tv, that's a microwave.