If PETA ran the world:
1. Obviously, no one would eat meat. No steaks, hamburger, bacon, etc. No dairy products either, so better get some soy milk (yuck) to pour over those Wheaties.
2. Get rid of everything you own made of leather. Throw out all those cool shoes, OMA. They're illegal now. Rip out all the dead animal skin covering your car seats and sit on a towel when you drive. If you live somewhere that gets so cold synthetic materials can't keep you warm, well...move. No fur allowed either.
3. Got a loved one with leukemia or another serious illness? Sorry. No animal testing of new drugs allowed. Animal's lives are more important now.
4. Does your kid want a puppy, kitten, hamster, etc.? Sorry, kid. Pets are illegal. Go read a book instead. Wait, the Earth Liberation Front has made paper and wooden houses illegal too. Go sit on the front porch of our mud hut and play with your plastic Slinky.
5. Someone selling drugs in your neighborhood? Well, the police and border guards aren't allowed to have drug dogs or K-9 units anymore so a lot more drugs come into the country now. Better get one of the Home Again implants that used to be for pets put into every one of your kids too in case they ever go missing. Can't use a dog to look for missing people, that infringes on their rights.
6. Are you a dairy farmer, perhaps? Turn all your cows loose now! Start growing soybeans! Don't worry about making enough money to pay your farm loans off, you're doing the right thing and freeing all those wrongly imprisoned cows! Now, what to do with all those Amish people that raise their own food and *gasp* use horses for transport! How cruel! Kill the Amish!
7. Oh, and ladies...forget about wearing makeup, perfume or silk. All those things are made from animal products and are banned now. Use house paint instead.
8. Do you like to hunt? Forget your barbaric blood sport and grow vegetables instead. You can keep the exploding deer population out of your garden by asking them politely to leave. No scaring them away, we can't stress our animal friends.
9. Do you want to get away from the world and go live in the mountains somewhere? No dice. Animals get first dibs on the land now. Stay in the crowded city and don't accidentally hit any of those deer running around. You'll go to prison for it.
10. Is your house plagued with roaches or rats? Deal with it. They have just as much right to live in your house as you. Insecticides and rat poison have been outlawed. Forget about having a cat to keep the pests at bay, remember pets are illegal. If you get ill from the rat or roach problem in your home, you're screwed. We can't have those evil drugs that were developed with animal testing, it's immoral.
Yeah, sounds like a place I'd wanna live! (Not really.)
[/afk - cooking a hamburger]
