Really need some help. Regarding relationship

B

Bonne46

AC Members
May 20, 2009
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Hey everyone, I'm in need of help with my current relationship.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 1 year and 6 months. Our relationship isn't a normal relationship due to the fact that it is long distance for now. We have been doing really good with the long distance with a few minor issues here and there. Now when we first were starting off, we were always on the phone with each other, never did we do anything else. Through time we slowed down more on speaking on the phone, meaning not always on it. We went out with our friends acted normal, texted each other and we always would have our nightly conversation before we went to bed. I went out to see her this summer for 2 weeks and it was great. No tension at all nothing. But recently we have been fighting. Now I will admit that I do have a anger problem and I have now decided to help that issue and went to see a doctor and I am now taking a perscription to help me with that and to pay attention more. But we still get into these fights and we both have discussed with each other on some things we didn't like about the other and we thought needed to be fixed. We decided to stay with each other to help fix those things because we both really want each other. Well lastnight she broke up with me again because I ended up chillen with my friend that night and we didn't have our nightly convo, as well as for the past couple days we didn't talk much and she thought and is right for thinking this that she woulda thought that our relationship would be more important and have us doing our nightly convo instead of not doing it because I was just hanging out. Well she tells me today that she feels like she doesn't know who I am anymore and she feels like I am not inlove with her and all. It hurt to hear that really. But the thing is I do feel a little differnent and have for a little. Before I had this huge happiness and always had to be on the phone and everything with her, but since all the break up she did with me I feel like it pushed me away a litle because of all the fighting and her breaking up with me. We just got off the phone and we were both really upset and crying and I was telling her not to think that I am not inlove with her anymore, and she said she feels it and it literally broke me down. I love this girl, and I do want to be with her, but how I am feeling right now sucks and I want what I had back. I don't know what to do with it as well. If someone can give me advice on what I should do or us please do, I want us to make it through it all. I truely do love her.
 
why is it long distance ?? move closer to her!! transfer credits if your in school...you'll regret it the rest of your life if you don't!
 
Its called time. There comes a point in a relationship where it doesn't feel "new" any more this is probably the change you are feeling. If you love her fight to get her back.
 
well tell her all that you've said! tell her that you really do not want to lose her and that she means so much to you!
 
^ agreeed!!! if you tell her exactly how you feel , that will help. honesty is worth millions!! relationships survive on trust honesty and love.
 
Long distance relationships rarely work. Live your life and let her live her own life. When the time is right for either of you to move to be with the other, THEN restart the relationship if that's what you feel is right.
 
you are all of 21.

IMO, you both need to grow up and experience life.

if you don't you may regret it and take it out on each other.
there are rare instances where two people can grow (up) together.

how many serious relationships have you had.

chilling with your friends is a good thing as long as you are not doing anything stupid...that is another issue. as doing stupid things teaches you that they are stupid..as long as you learn from it.
if this is meant to be.. it will happen..you two may actually be growing apart.. and that's ok.. you can and will always have a special place for her.

as for now.maybe it's best to take a break..and a breath.

maybe you two will miss each other and try to work it out.

remember..


it is better to have loved and lost, than it is to have never loved.

time heals
 
Infatuation is not love. In the beginning many relationships begin with infatuation with each other, after that either love moves in or the relationship moves away. There is a big difference between the two.

If you two are "fighting", breaking up and getting back together, only to break up and reunite again - it isn't love. It's infatuation and immaturity that shows neither one is mature enough to handle a committed relationship. Sounds cruel sure, but it is a fact of life. If who your friends or the time spent with them becomes an issue, the relationship needs to end.

Love means letting the other person be who they are. For good AND bad. Nobody is perfect and if you are not mature enough to handle each other's faults, you need to split up. If person A or person B needs to change for the relationship to work, later on one will accuse the other of "not being the person I once fell in love with." It's an emotional game doomed to failure.

Be true to yourself first.

FWIW - We have been married 23 years and each year that passes our bond grows stronger.
 
Thanks everyone for the response. I can't move down there this year do to I got accepted to the college near me and not near her. But after this year she was going move into my house with me and attend schooling here.

Yes fights are not good in relationships and I know that, we have gotten better with the fights and have realized most of are fights in the past were due to little stupid things. Its just hasn't fully stopped, theres still that here and there fight.

I do love her, and I do care about her. I just don't undertand this feeling I have right now. I think of her all the time, but before it was like right when I woke up I had to instantly text her and couldn't wait for those long convos, now since we have been together longer I still can't wait to hear her voice and all but its not like I'm waiting around all anxious, so I didn't know what that meant. I don't want to hurt this girl, she is a gorgeous person who deserves the best and deserves no hurt. We do really feel that we are meant for one another due to the help we do give to each other. She has helped me with my past relationship and family issues, as well as I helped her with her huge family issues. We really understand each other. I do for a fact HATE the fighting we do, but no matter what I love this girl.

Yes I have heard long distance relationships do not work. Trust me I have been told this from my father and others. But I ignore that, because to me if its love it'll work. Yes its stressful because the distance but there are ways to handle it. We do see eachother as much as we can, and come May she'll be leaving here.

I as well have heard you are young live your life saying. To me I am living my life, she knows if I want to do something I'll do it and she doesn't mind that. Grant it its not like I'm saying hey I want to go kiss this oher girl, its more like activites or hobbies. I have been in serious realtionships its not like this is my first, nor my first long distance relationship. You may ask now well what hapened to the other long distance relationship, to be honest, that was because of one my anger and I didn't fix it, and 2 because she was to demanding and expecting me to do everything. But with my gf now, she is the one that got me to understand to get on the meds and dealt with my anger and was able to still see through all it and notice I still had a heart.

Were talking things out in a minute so will see what happens. I do want you guys/girls to know if I did sound like a a$$ just now I apologize seriously didn't mean to.
 
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