I have had a sponge in my tank for over six months - I never dreamed it would be a problem and hasn't been, but I will start researching!
LOL, come to the LFS I work at and start flipping around rocks in the Live Rock bins we have.. I guarantee you that you will be stung multiple times by sponges.. it feels like you get fiberglass under your skin. Not very painful, but itches and is really annoying for the rest of the day. Sponges definately sting when grabbed, but like you said, as a defensive measure, not an offensive one. When your talking 100's of lbs of rock in a live rock bin that people are always digging through to find good rocks, stinging happens just about every time and we warn people and even offer gloves to them when they do go digging in the bins.I have not heard of them stinging anyone. They are filter feeders and do not sting and attack prey the way something like and anemone would. If they did it would be in defense, but I have not heard of this anywhere.