I like the potted plants. We thought about doing that for our wedding favors, but the realities of time constraints intervened. We ended up making music CDs with some of our favorite (appropriate) songs with a picture from Banff (where we were going on our honeymoon) on them.
Etiquette Question...
- Thread starter Leopardess
- Start date
While we're on the subject of wedding etiquette...
I'm getting married next summer, and in lieu of favors, which are cute and sometimes thoughtful, but a lot of people don't really *care* about them anyway, we want to take the money we'd spend on them and donate to a one or two of our favorite charities.
I've heard this is completely acceptable, etiquette-wise, and actually becoming quite popular. I'm afraid, however, that some of our more traditional guests (we have some very traditional people in our families) might be offended - I bought you a gift, now where's my favor?! - or at the very least might not appreciate the thought. What do you guys think?
I'm getting married next summer, and in lieu of favors, which are cute and sometimes thoughtful, but a lot of people don't really *care* about them anyway, we want to take the money we'd spend on them and donate to a one or two of our favorite charities.
I've heard this is completely acceptable, etiquette-wise, and actually becoming quite popular. I'm afraid, however, that some of our more traditional guests (we have some very traditional people in our families) might be offended - I bought you a gift, now where's my favor?! - or at the very least might not appreciate the thought. What do you guys think?
Without going into too many personal details, one of my cousins donated money to the American Cancer Society in the names of several extended family members who had died from cancer. At each place setting was a scroll explaining that fact. No one complained and quite a few people cried a little upon reading them. People tend to think of lost loved ones particularly at such events, so if you could give something in remembrance of them, that's particularly appropriate. If someone does feel slighted--shame on them.
I would not hesitate to do that at all. It is becoming very popular. Like mrakins said, I'd print out some scroll/cards explaining what has been done. The vast majority of people should really like the idea. Sure, some may not appreciate the thought - but some may not have appreciated the favor
On a side note, part of the lure of the flower pots we're doing (besides it being summer and my mother, a gardener, getting to help out) is that they do double duty as table decorations
EDIT: Also check this place out (you may have to register. its free and totally worth it). That's a little splurge on some ideas like yours. One couple used 10% of the money they recieved in gifts and made a donation. Another donated in the guests name to heifer international (great organization!)...
http://www.theknot.com/ch_article.html?Object=A30409155854&keywordID=149&keywordType=2&parentID=527
On a side note, part of the lure of the flower pots we're doing (besides it being summer and my mother, a gardener, getting to help out) is that they do double duty as table decorations
EDIT: Also check this place out (you may have to register. its free and totally worth it). That's a little splurge on some ideas like yours. One couple used 10% of the money they recieved in gifts and made a donation. Another donated in the guests name to heifer international (great organization!)...
http://www.theknot.com/ch_article.html?Object=A30409155854&keywordID=149&keywordType=2&parentID=527
Last edited:
In a similar vein, we used the CDs in white CD envelopes to let people know what table they were seated at.Leopardess said:On a side note, part of the lure of the flower pots we're doing (besides it being summer and my mother, a gardener, getting to help out) is that they do double duty as table decorations
Leo, I just got married in November. We did exactly that, printed directly on the envelope. My handwriting isn't great, husbands is horrible. And this was one of the few things I could actually get him to do. He actually managed to find a font & color that was very close to the invitations (purple). It looked professionally done. And you know what, not one single invitee said "OMG you didn't HAND WRITE THE ADDRESSES????" Also, have you checked out weddingchat.com ? Great & very active wedding board. I remember this exact topic coming up while I was planning. Just wait until your RSVP date has come & gone & you have to track down half your guest list to ask if they're coming or not. Or when they send them back with extra people written in. (Yes, this happened to me) Good Luck!
If you do have family that will gasp at the printing, you likely know who those people are already (I certainly do in my family), and can hand address their invitation, and use the computer for the remainder.
That said--I use my printer for most things, from announcements when I got married to Christmas cards. I hand write notes that go to my grandmothers and great aunts every other week, because I know they care, and will handwrite thank you notes (always--that's just me). For mass mailings, I do it at my convenience, not someone else's. Since you care, go with what makes you comfortable.
That said--I use my printer for most things, from announcements when I got married to Christmas cards. I hand write notes that go to my grandmothers and great aunts every other week, because I know they care, and will handwrite thank you notes (always--that's just me). For mass mailings, I do it at my convenience, not someone else's. Since you care, go with what makes you comfortable.
I'm all for using "improper" names! I can't stand receiving a letter/card/invite that is addressed like this:Leopardess said:Nursie that's exactly what I was planning on. To handwrite the inner envelopes, except I've heard/read you have the choice of improper names (Aunt June, for instance) or can write Ms. Smith. But the outer envelope would read Miss June Smith. This will be a fairly formal event, so I think I'm going to use the title of the person sans first name inside. And if any kids are invited, their name goes on the inner envelope. The knot (www.theknot.com) is a great site for etiquette and advice, too
http://www.theknot.com/ch_article.h...3600&keywordID=152&keywordType=2&parentID=527
Mr & Mrs John Doe
It's sounds like the woman is her husband's property. It's bad enough I took my husband's last name, I'm not giving up my first name too!!! And forget the "Mrs." thing! No one needs to know my marital status, so I'll just use Ms., thank you very much. I think Jane & John Doe is much more civilized!
mishi8
~ No, I'm not really that bitter! LOL! But I still do miss my very uncommon maiden name, having "traded" it in for one of the more common names in the phone book.
Last edited:
I'm not sure what your budget is, but you could hire a calligrapher or get the invitations done by computer professionally. You just hand over your address list and they'll ask you some questions like "formal or informal" and which color, size, inner envelope, return address needed, etc.
For disclosure, my wife is a calligrapher.
As O.G. stated, doing the persnickety family members' invitations seperately is a great idea. I've seen some folks hire my wife specifically for those kinds of issues.
Tony T.
For disclosure, my wife is a calligrapher.
As O.G. stated, doing the persnickety family members' invitations seperately is a great idea. I've seen some folks hire my wife specifically for those kinds of issues.
Tony T.
I'm actually looking forward to changing my name to my future husband's... I'll be going from one that everyone struggles to spell/pronounce to... Thompson!
