5 Year Old Girl Arrested, Handcuffed
- Thread starter Leopardess
- Start date
Howdy,
I have to say, negative reinforcement only works for a while. One must teach their child to do "right" for "right's" sake. Fear of punishment as an incentive to be kind is so.... wingnut, and only a short-term fix. IMHO
I have to say, negative reinforcement only works for a while. One must teach their child to do "right" for "right's" sake. Fear of punishment as an incentive to be kind is so.... wingnut, and only a short-term fix. IMHO
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Yes, but most kids don't want to cross that line so they will stay 'in line'. Discipline without love is tyranny. Love without discipline is not really love at all.
Yes. Most kids don't want to cross that line so they will stay 'in line'. Discipline without love is tyranny. Love without discipline is not really love at all.
Wow, I agree that arresting a 5yr old sounds extreme, but if she's been raised with that kind of attitude then it would probably take extremes to get her attention. I also agree that spankings can be very useful but they aren't for everyone. My children are extremely active and aren't motivated by things like removal of toys/time out etc. so I do spank, but a simple raising of the eyebrows in public usually suffices at this point for my 4 year old. I also use rewards though - a ride on the "Merry Round" promised for the end of a mall trip is doing really well to stave off the tantrums(she loses it if she acts up).
It probably works because (I'll bet) you follow through with your threats. Your kids know you mean business and they know where the lines are drawn.flyingfish said:
How many times have you seen this: a child throws a tantrum or other objectionable behaviour in public, and the mother (or father) screams all kinds of threats, but never follows through. And they wonder why the kids don't respect them.
Darn Tootin'!
It's all about the follow through, in my opinon.
We pulled our son out of restaurants, playgroups, etc. Heck, I remember dragging him out of the McDoodoo's Playplace by his feet when he was acting up. We'd just leave. We (my wife and I) would let him know that his behavior was unacceptable and inappropriate, so fun-time was OVER. It doesn't take very many times before they start to listen!
It's all about the follow through, in my opinon.
We pulled our son out of restaurants, playgroups, etc. Heck, I remember dragging him out of the McDoodoo's Playplace by his feet when he was acting up. We'd just leave. We (my wife and I) would let him know that his behavior was unacceptable and inappropriate, so fun-time was OVER. It doesn't take very many times before they start to listen!
Being an old fart like I am, it is refreshing to see that there are new(er) parents with decent parenting skills out there. I was beginning to think that the post-modern culture had thrown the common sense child-rearing book out the window.
Reading the title, it did sound extreme, but in the end, sadly, I think that the school did exactly what was necessary. Not just for the scare value of being arrested. This girl kicked her teacher and punched the assistant principle in the shins. The girl needed to be retrained and anyone who's tried to retrain a child on a rampage (or anyone, frankly) knows that they can do a lot of harm to themselves thrashing around. Police are trained to deal with it, so the surest way to avoid a lawsuit must have been to call in someone who's trained to deal with restraining people.
The girl's mother is obviously one of those truly terrible parents who always side with their children. She has no clue how to raise or love her child and needs some serious punishment herself. Sorry, talk of suing schools always gets me riled up. There are very rare cases (I stress the very) when a teacher "has it in" for a kid, but from what I've seen 99.9% of the time, the kid brings it on themselves. If you go through school slacking, causing trouble in class, getting into fights or whatnot you cannot be surprised if a teacher has very little tolerance for you misbahaving. The teacher's not "picking on you" any more than police are "picking on" the repeat violent criminal by questioning him after the liquor store gets held up. If you don't want negative attention, don't be a troublemaker, period. Yeah, I got into my share of shanannagans when I was a kid, but I was by and large well behaved, I knew that there was plenty of discipline if I wasn't. When I got caught, I was punished, I didn't like it, and I think that the worst part was knowing that I'd disapponted my parents. But because I was mostly well behaved, people tended to look at those bad things that I did as just exploring boundaries and typical youthful "boys will be boys" stuff. On the other hand, there were kids I grew up with who were seldom if ever up to any good, so when they misbehaved it was just one more example of how crappy they were.
Matak's had the right of this thread, as have others who've echoed his sentiment. Kids need discipline and love, and the two go hand in hand. You can't "reason" with a child and expect them to understand right from wrong like an adult when they haven't been taught right from wrong! And you gotta follow through on your threats. A friend of mine who's training her puppy told me something interesting that I'd never thought of, and I think it applies to children as well, actually, I think that rearing children and training dogs are pretty much one in the same as far as theory.
She said that you never repeat a command. You issue it and either punish or reward as fit. By repeating all you do is teach the dog that it can respond when it wants to, it made me think of those times I've seen parents yelling (or even just telling) at their kids over and over to behave. If instead they were consistent and said "stop" and punished the child if he didn't behave, then he'd learn pretty quickly that what mom and/or dad sais, goes, and right away.
The girl's mother is obviously one of those truly terrible parents who always side with their children. She has no clue how to raise or love her child and needs some serious punishment herself. Sorry, talk of suing schools always gets me riled up. There are very rare cases (I stress the very) when a teacher "has it in" for a kid, but from what I've seen 99.9% of the time, the kid brings it on themselves. If you go through school slacking, causing trouble in class, getting into fights or whatnot you cannot be surprised if a teacher has very little tolerance for you misbahaving. The teacher's not "picking on you" any more than police are "picking on" the repeat violent criminal by questioning him after the liquor store gets held up. If you don't want negative attention, don't be a troublemaker, period. Yeah, I got into my share of shanannagans when I was a kid, but I was by and large well behaved, I knew that there was plenty of discipline if I wasn't. When I got caught, I was punished, I didn't like it, and I think that the worst part was knowing that I'd disapponted my parents. But because I was mostly well behaved, people tended to look at those bad things that I did as just exploring boundaries and typical youthful "boys will be boys" stuff. On the other hand, there were kids I grew up with who were seldom if ever up to any good, so when they misbehaved it was just one more example of how crappy they were.
Matak's had the right of this thread, as have others who've echoed his sentiment. Kids need discipline and love, and the two go hand in hand. You can't "reason" with a child and expect them to understand right from wrong like an adult when they haven't been taught right from wrong! And you gotta follow through on your threats. A friend of mine who's training her puppy told me something interesting that I'd never thought of, and I think it applies to children as well, actually, I think that rearing children and training dogs are pretty much one in the same as far as theory.
She said that you never repeat a command. You issue it and either punish or reward as fit. By repeating all you do is teach the dog that it can respond when it wants to, it made me think of those times I've seen parents yelling (or even just telling) at their kids over and over to behave. If instead they were consistent and said "stop" and punished the child if he didn't behave, then he'd learn pretty quickly that what mom and/or dad sais, goes, and right away.
