being a housewife

Keep one tank for yourself, set it up for you with what you want in it. While you feed your baby, or at any quiet time you may have, dwell on the tank and find your refuge in the beauty and peace of the environment you have created.

DO NOT GIVE UP....EVER!!!
 
Take it easy... Try to take some time for yourself. Everyone needs some time to themselves. I know, easier said than done. But even if it's an hour bike ride, a walk, anything to clear your head.

Try to get your husband to join you for a group therapy...

I don't know where you're from in Canada, but is there any way you can bring your children to daycare for a few days a week? Here in Quebec we have what's called a 7 $ a day daycare... parents pay 7$, the govt pays the rest. Everyone needs a break...

get in touch with some daycares, see if there are special programs with autistic children.


In the end, if you're not happy, your children will feel it, and they will be unhappy. The first person you gotta please is yourself. It may sound selfish, but in the long run, your happiness will reflect the people around you, and it'll make for a better lifestyle for you and your children...


Everyone needs someone to talk to, and to vent to ... Sometimes getting different perspectives on how to see things can help you put things in perspective in a less negative way. There's nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. Even if your husband won't be willing to join you, it's not something you can't do yourself.


Good luck!
 
I agree with everything that's been said. And yes, motherhood is overwhelming sometimes and you seem to loose a lot of yourself when you're raising children. I've been in your shoes. My oldest son was 3 when my triplet sons were born 10 and 1/2 weeks premature, one with a a congenital birth defect that kept him in the hospital for 4 months. Then he screamed 24 hours a day, failed to thrive still by a year of age and I almost lost him. The triplets are 18 now and seniors in high school. I gave up almost everything while they were growing up. Put the tanks away. Stopped reading books, doing hobbies. I had to go back to work fulltime when the triplets were 8 months old. My ex-husband always said the worst thing that could happen to him was a multiple birth. Well....he's my EX-husband and has been for 12 years.

Maybe there's not a lot of things you can change, but try to change a few. Like scuppers said keep one tank up if you can, if it can bring your some joy without too much work. You can't keep the little one sleeping longer in the morning, how about changing the rules and see to it that your 11 year old goes to bed a little earlier. Hopefully that respite will come through. Is there a teenager in the neighborhood or a family member that could come in once or twice a week to watch the children for an hour or so for you while you get out of the house a little? Don't feel guilty about taking a bit of time for yourself. It's actually the best thing you can do for your kids. You'll feel better getting some breaks. I don't think I could have stayed in my house 24/7 with all I had on my hands. Work was my respite. Hang in there!!
 
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By all means, talk to your doctor and see a therapist or a marriage counselor, but also talk to a lawyer. Then talk to your husband. If he still fails to support you after that, it may be time to file for a separation. Just whatever you do, don't move out of the house because that can be considered abandonment. Good luck.
 
I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. Marriage can be tough and when children enter the picture, it can become even more difficult when your husband or spouse is unappreciating and unhelpful with the relationship and duties.

*Note for future husbands and dads* - Please pay attention to Krissy's post. Her emotions and feelings are the reality of many wives and mothers throughout the world. Be a good husband and father.

I would follow the advice left by others before me. Definitely seek help - maybe a religious leader or counselor that can be neutral and help you both work through these problems. Contact the government agency that are issuing out these cheques and have them changed to your name. Trust - it can be done. Take care of yourself before you take care of others -- it's not selfish at all. If you aren't alright = nobody will be alright.

If you have a joint account - open an account for yourself. Start saving money for emergencies (would there be anyway you can get your baby bonus direct-deposited into your account?). I can't believe your husband is ignoring you and not talking to you - terrible; I truly feel for you. Just think positive and know that we're here to morally support you. Good luck.
 
welcome to my world., and my kids are a lot older, and some guys just don't get it or care to get it,.. hang in there , wish i had the answer but i still don't and i wont give up what i have just for relief of him,. but do what you need to care for yourself and kids and just pretend he's not there, and don't let him get you down,.. his opinion is worthless,.. its what you feel about you and the kids,.. that part is important,..
 
thank you for sharing your experiences with me everyone. i guess there are a lot of us mothers(and sometime fathers too) who go through these 'rough' patches. i feels just like you, dixie, i don't want to give up everything just to get releif from him. it is a hard job.
 
bluekrissyspike said:
thank you for sharing your experiences with me everyone. i guess there are a lot of us mothers(and sometime fathers too) who go through these 'rough' patches. i feels just like you, dixie, i don't want to give up everything just to get releif from him. it is a hard job.
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That doesn't mean you shouldn't talk to a lawyer. At the very least, you'll know where you stand legally if he ever threatens to kick you out or play dirty in any other way.
 
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