Is a Loyal Boyfriend Hard to Find?

[Dangerdoll]

hehehe, that's funny Galaxie (I'm guilty of it too )

any way, I would have to agree that maybe joining clubs of your interest would help Riso, the book-store, whatever. Just don't go out seeking it, it's when you're looking for it that it most often turns out not what you expected. These things just happen.... It's the darndest thing, but they happen when you're not even expecting it to.

 

[OrionGirl]

I see someone else here watches "Lost"

Huh? Did I inadvertantly reference the show somehow? I've never even seen an episode....Sorry!


I just know that the people who have meant the most in my life--friends, and my husband, weren't people I looked for. Most of them aren't even people I have tons in common with, either. They are people that I met in different circumstances--work, a bar, a class, online...And ended up really liking and wanting to build a relationship with them. I think wanting a relationship and looking for someone to put in that box, rather than finding people you like and letting the relationship develop into what it can is futile. And it really only happens with the one relationship that should be the most important one we maintain. You never hear someone say "Gee, I'm really looking for a life long drinking buddy", but you always hear people wanting to 'find' a significant other.

 

[mishi8]

I think that you may be worrying a little too much, putting too much thought into it. The best relationships aren't the ones you look for, but ones that develop naturally. Focus on making friendships...friends with similar interests and hobbies (I personally don't believe that a bar or nightclub is the best place to meet "Mr. Right.") You're still young...right now, enjoy being single in your early twenties...sooner or later you'll develop a long term relationship with the right person.

 

[oscar119]

Wow, lots of advice here. All of it good. I agree with alot and say don't go looking for it. Don't use dating services, don't date people you work with unless you're planning on leaving your job soon, is some of the advice I'd give you. People who need online personals usually have lots wrong with them and you can't get to know someone or really know if you're attracted to them that way. Best way to meet someone is to just be out and about. Not liking clubs is fine. But if you meet girlfriends at your job, maybe go to a quiet bar for a drink or go shopping just so you meet some people and have chances to see what kind of guys you don't and have a chance to flirt/hit on a guy your attracted to and see what comes of it. The quality people don't hang out in clubs anyways. You'll probably meet a nice guy when you're just running to the store to get milk, or inline at a resturant or someplace like that.

 

[Marn]

just wanted to make a comment about were i met my husband .. when i posted it earlier thati met him online .. we met while in a cribbage room playing crib .. he invited me to a game and i almost said no cause of his name he used .. it scared me and i was new to the net .. but he turned out to be the sweetest guy ever ..

Marn

 

[Lila]

Ummm... I met my husband at work. But the abusive jerk I dated before him was met at another job.

But I was saying something about going out/hanging out with people from work and have fun.

 

[saltyc]

Riso, I was one of the last ones in my high school class to get married (oddly enough, I was the first to get engaged! Opened my eyes 2 months before the wedding & scrammed!). I didn't marry till I was 34! Yes, took a while-yes, dated/kissed some frogs along the way. But I had a great time-met guys from all over-dated one from New York City for a year while in college, then when I finally got a chance to move up there for the summer, the close proximity scared him off, and I realized I really didn't like having to look straight up to see the sky! I was madly in love with him, but I could never have stayed there, and he would never have wanted to leave.
Good thing, not being jealous of wandering eyes-worst emotion in the world! Guys can't help it-and besides:
1. If they don't look elsewhere, how hard are they looking at you?
and
2. If you fuss about them looking, then it's not right for you to let your own eyes wander to that cute stockboy...
Anyway-the whole point of this reminiscing, is don't be afraid to wait for the right one, and take your time in figuring out whether that cute guy is mr. right.

 

[oscar119]

Ummm... I met my husband at work. But the abusive jerk I dated before him was met at another job.

Dating someone from work can turn out good, but if it turns out bad she'll have to work with that person. Only reason I and probably most say it's not good to date people at work.

As for meeting people online. It's cool if you can but I've had bad bad luck with internet personals as people tend to use the best pic they could find from 5 years ago and fib about everything else.

 

[Blueiz]

I got married when I was 19. Just celebrated my 6th wedding anniversary last month. I can tell you this when the right one comes along you will know it. Don't rush and look at all your options. From an inside view i will tell you that you need to take time out to smell the roses before you start looking to settle down. I just new when I was 19 that getting married right away is what I wanted to do. Now I wish I had of waited a little longer. I have no regrets about who i married, I love my husband he is honest faithful and kind, he also works very hard to provide for his family. You need time to grow up and find yourself. Discover who you are first and then find someone with common interests. Within the past year I have found that there are other men out there that i could REALLY be interested in, but I made a commitment 6 years ago to my husband that said til death do us part and I meant it. Give yourself time to growup before you look for soemone to settle down with, or else you will find that the 2 of you will grow up together and you just may not like what each of you turns out to be. My best friend that got married 1 year after I did is getting a divorce now because they bothgrew up and didn't like what each other turned out to be. By the way I don't like to party and drink either, my hubby was the second man i ever dated. Like I said I have no regrets, but if I could tuirn back time and know then what I know now things would be different. I hope this helps ease the "I want it now" feeling.

 

[sumthin fishy]

once you quit looking and give it up for lost. .

You sure did reference it. Can't find your book, go watch a TV show......
Not liking the bar/club scene is fine, but don't discount it as a 100% no for finding a mate if you do indeed enjoy going out. Like everything else has been said, don't go to the bar to find Mr. right, go to have fun with your friends. Dance and have a good time. If you meet a guy who might be nice, you can always go somewhere else with him to get to know him.