being a housewife

my comments are what if's, bad things happen all the time mostly to those that are unaware or never happen to me type things,..
i just want all bases covered before i need to,.. i'm just over prepared,.. which is a flaw,..

but i'm mostly never surprised or caught off guard,..lol
 
dixienut said:
my comments are what if's, bad things happen all the time mostly to those that are unaware or never happen to me type things,..
i just want all bases covered before i need to,.. i'm just over prepared,.. which is a flaw,..

but i'm mostly never surprised or caught off guard,..lol
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Okay... So you are in no way threatened by your husband, right? Forgive me, but you seemed to imply that was the case and I always take threats of domestic violence very seriously.
 
That sounds like a lonely way to live, never trusting anyone. :(
 
Pearl said:
Okay... So you are in no way threatened by your husband, right? Forgive me, but you seemed to imply that was the case and I always take threats of domestic violence very seriously.
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if i was i would be out,.
my life is not perfect, and is stressed but livable for me,.. he's just doing what he learned from dear old dad,.. the legacy lives,..

HTML: 
That sounds like a lonely way to live, never trusting anyone
lonely perhaps, but just like the song, " she's been walked on and stepped on, and the last footprints mine"

life made me that way,

also a neat littly quote my cousin found and it describes it so well

Women are Angels And when someone breaks our wings.... We simply continue to fly.........on a broomstick... We are flexible like that ....

:lol: i love it,..

i havent lost my sense of humor or sit depressed,.. i wont let anyone control me that way,..

one can make my surroundings what ever they want but no one can control my mind or my will,.

things arn't all bad,.. just society letting men get away with being cavemen
or fred flinstone, but not so funny,.
 
Now that just makes me sad. My own husband has made my life so much better than it was before we became a couple and we've been dear friends for thirty years and married for twenty.
 
Pearl said:
Now that just makes me sad. My own husband has made my life so much better than it was before we became a couple and we've been dear friends for thirty years and married for twenty.
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well i had that once, for 3 years engaged to the sweetest man around, my soul mate,. he died from a brain anyurism 3 months after turning 30, i was 26, and he was my first boy friend also,..

so i have been to hell and back,.. many many times in my life mostly all deaths of those very close to me,.. and 3 all around the time i lost my soulmate,..

i've been sad and i've been very happy but mostly i expect the worst and most of the time i get it,.

not that i want it or make it its just my shoes i have to walk in,.. my destiny,.. for what ever reason,..

but i have 2 very health great kids,.. and many other small things that make my life big,.
 
Sorry, I just don't buy the cock and bull story of it being the man's fault, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah. It takes two to marry and it takes two to fight. Statistically speaking, the man is the abuser most often and there is no getting around that fact. The excuses for abuse are as numerous as the clouds in the sky and ultimately, abuse is a two way street. Allowing yourself to be abused is just as wrong as abusing someone.

It is the abuser's fault for not taking self responsibility and it is also the abusee's fault for the same reason. I refuse to use the term victim unless it is a child being victimized. It is seen most often in relationships where one or both parties have poor self-esteem, a lack of willingness to accept responsibility for one's own actions and a willingness to overlook what is clearly a crime within a relationship in the western and other parts of the world.

For the women, take the kids and run just as far and as fast as you can. Everything can be replaced except for damaged kids and a life lost. That is too high a price to pay.

Don't say it isn't that simple to do. In reality it is. It is just very scary to take the first step. There are numerous programs to aid the abused and to help them with counseling, learning a skill, and employment help.

Please don't get me wrong. I know it is a difficult cycle to break and a lot of investment goes down the sewer. It is better to end an abuse cycle than to end a life. Kids learn by what they see. What do you want to teach them?

Ending a relationship is not the only way to end abuse. Start with counseling and go from there. It takes two to make counseling work as well.
 
yes but what in the long run is done to the kids with mother working all the time and having someone else raise your kids,. and that time will never be regained,
and the amount most unskilled women can earn wont feed or house them,
i know millions of people do it , but that is how society has fallen and kids tho many good ones can come from this environment, most fall thru the cracks,..

it is what you feel you can live with, your choice, of which evils to have.
there's abuse,( just being plan mean and a sob) and then there's dangerous abuse ,.

OP is talking about bulling crap, and just being pushed to the end of stress level,.

most all people experience it some time or the other,..
these type of men have a cycle they are d*cks in their prime but most times not all, they mellow out after kids are raised,..

I thinks its triggered by jealousy of the kids and the attention we, as mothers, give them and not to the men, as we are so tired,.

that men want to "fix" us by making it even harder on us, to see how we like it,.
by waiting on them hand and foot like we have to for the kids,. and they get unwilling to help for they think it some what funny seeing us struggle

its a small mind but most men do this,.. my father also was this way,.. i have seen it many times,.

and he stopped it after a while but not when child rearing is being done,..

we all hated him growing up but after we grew up and he stopped.
most of us understood and he wasn't sure why the kids hate him. i guess men can't connect the fact that we were there watching all the yelling and all the being mad at us playing and disturbing his, TV watching,.. etc.
i feel so bad for him now at age 76. the look on his face when most of the kids yell back at him now. i the youngest, treat him good now, but i seen the smallish mind and selfish ways when he was in his prime

i think if he knew then what was to come he would have changed his ways,
as 8 years ago mom was ripped from our lives and he's now lost,.. and says what a saint she was,.. but what a hell of a stressed life she had,..

for what, men being jealous of the attention the kids recieved,..
 
BlueKrissy- I apologize in advance for giving my opinion on the state of your relationship based on one post,but this bears mentioning:

Being thoughtless and inconsiderate isn't the same as being abusive, which is what I feel is going on between you and your husband. We all like to believe that none of us would ever take our loved ones for granted, but the reality is, is that it does tend to happen sometimes. Especially after the flush of the new relationship dies down and life starts to happen- kids, bills, work, etc. It's not just a "male" thing either, there are plenty of women that fall into the same habit. Not that I'm condoning it, no- but it IS a fixable situation if both parties are willing.

You know my husband, who truely is the love of my life, has the same tendency of doing things around the house half-heartedly. It's true- he manages to screw up anything "handymanish" and it used to drive me to the point of insanity. We got into a lot of fights about it, too. The fights ended when I changed my perspective AND my expectations. Being lousy and yes, a bit lazy with manual labor doesn't make him a bad husband, it's just who he is. There are plenty of other wonderful facets to him that more then make up for it. The point is, is that many times we get so focused on the negative we completely lose sight of the positive.

Relationships always strengthen during the tough times, when you look at your spouse and think "Man, what was I thinking?" You never know- he might be thinking the same thing! I know for a fact my husband has felt the same way- he's admitted it. It's really quite normal, in my opinion.

Communication is definitely the key here. And that's a two way street. Many women ( sorry about the generalization, but I do see this as more of a female habit then a male one), define communication as " I'll do the talking about everything you do that's WRONG", and they refuse to listen. Maybe your husband is super-stressed at work and doesn't know how to deal with it, so he takes it out on you. Maybe there are things about YOU that are bothering him, he doesn't know how to tell you. You never really know.

If this post comes across as taking his side or making excuses for his behavior, I'm sorry, it's not meant that way. But don't throw in the towel just yet. Again, I have no real idea of what's going on based on one post, but I've witnessed ( and been part of) similar situations. It's fixable, really.

Good luck. =)
 
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