being a housewife

The following list are only recommendations since I know what it is like to be a "working and take care of home dad" with 2 small kids.

There is support out there the best being mental and spiritual like for example, your church.

Since you are in charge, take charge and put the kids to work using love as a carrot to teach them skills that will make them much better people later.

Set the rules and share the truth using resolve to enforce righteousness and teach about admitting faults by example. Don't be afraid to share a mistake showeing your resolve by example to do better.

For your spouse lovingly let him know where he needs to help like his own laundry and then give him all the time in the world to do it on his own. Eventually he will get used to doing it. Have him take the kids out for a weekend once in a while so you can meditate.

The key is never stop getting your mental and spiritual support, and never stop extending that love and support to others while sticking to your resolve and belief in that what you are doing is right. Training everyone to help and leading by example, and hand off any hate weather received or generated to your spiritual/mental support letting it all go.

I am content in any situation and simply refuse to allow the blessings of being created a marvelous healthy human being, having experienced life bringing nothing into this world, I am more then graciously content knowing I can take nothing with me out of this world. So why worry, there is only today and the upside of what you have been given the power to change it.:thumbsup:
 
Sorry if someone's already brought this up, but you mention yourself as a housewife. That means that unless your parents are paying your rent and feeding you, that this man is working to support you and your family. That doesn't sound much like the "do nothing" you've characterized him to be. I'm not trying to trivialize your problems, but Bish, NCG, Cheech, Excuzz, and the others who are speaking up in his defense have a point. You can't lay all the blame for this situation on him, can't forget the things that he does contribute, and need to realize that disparaging him and your stepson to a bunch of strangers is so far from a constructive or positive thing to do that it blows my mind. I'm really sorry you find yourself in a tough spot, and can't even begin to relate to how difficult it must be to take care of special needs kids on a daily basis, but playing woe is me with a bunch of people you don't know and probably never will is not going to fix any of your problems. Work this out with your husband, and keep this stuff in the family. Its not really any of our business, even now after you've aired it out for the whole world to see.
 
excuzzzeme said:
I sure wish there was a magic wand to wave that would fix all relationships.
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There is, its called deployment. Being forced apart makes you think about all the bad and hurtful things you have done to each other, and it a good place to gain the appreciation for each other to fix the problems. Just sayin.
 
To those who think I am off to left field with my focus that many issues have the weight full well on the male part, I shall stick to my guns BUT I shall not fire them.

Personally been married for almost 14 years to a woman that I fell in love with at first sight. Six years after I saw her for the first time, she gave me a note saying she wanted to be my friend, a week later we went out for a coffee and at the end of the discussion we were engaged and 10 mths later were married.

While some may not believe what I am about to say, it is the truth.

My wife and I have never once had a fight or arguement or disagreeance in the entire time that we were betrothed or married.

My whole view of marriage is this, growing up I have seen and been on the receiving end of many bad things. I swore to my self that I would not ever repeat those things should I have the priviledge of getting married.

Marriage in my view is something that is the best this world has to offer. To think that someone could commit themselves to me in such regard. How can I not do everything in my power to make it worth the cost of doing that?

My wife and as well my kids as they arrive are not something that weigh me down, rather, they are something that lift me up. What great joy it is for me to look in the eyes of the woman who is my wife and plumb the depths of love. To look in the eyes of wonder that peer back from the little one as they see me as their superman.

This world we live in seems to be on the warpath against marriage, to this end I wll see my wife as my comrade a fellow soldier and so far as I understand the military the worst crime one could ever commit is to not do their ultimate best to ensure that their fellow soldier is not covered and most definitely is not left to fend for themselves. There is no greater thing than to put one's own life on the line to defend another. So to that end when I placed a ring on her finger and she on mine it was a forgone conclusion that we had become a cohesive unit.

I would ask the ladies a ?

WOULD YOU WISH THAT YOUR BETTER HALF BE 100% OPEN ABOUT ALL THINGS BOTH THEIR WEAK AND THEIR STRONG POINTS? IN TURN WHAT DOES IT DO WHEN THEY DO NOT FEEL THEY CAN SHARE ALL THAT THEY ARE?
 
There is a magic wand. It's called communication.
 
sorry.....it all adds up to a whine me. Everybody wants someone to blame, vice just taking action.
 
Bob - You're the best cranky old man around!!! LOL However you are very correct.

Let's see -

If you have a problem feeling depressed talk to a doctor or trained professional.

If your other half is a waste of space either accept it or ditch them and talk to a trained professional.

chefjamesscott - Personally my wife is my favorite person to fight. I generally try to pick one every few weeks. She is has a very quick mind, is stubborn, opinionated, and has a double dose of latin temper. Our dating was just one big fight. She had no intention of getting married at all especially not to a 6'2" gringo. I definitely didn't want a 4'9" latina with a fiery hot temper. I proposed to her with a nice long string of swear words in the middle of a fight. She replied "not unless you get me a real nice $%&#ing ring!". I custom designed her one. We've been married 9 years now and have two boys.

As long as the relationship is not physically or emotionally abusive there is no recipe for a happy marriage. It needs to be worked out by the two people involved based upon what they need emotionally, physically, and mentally. Untrained professionals need to butt out!!!
 
THE V said:
Untrained professionals need to butt out!!!
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Might I offer you some advice friend, perhaps you need to ask people where their training lies.

I am not just a chef/restaurant owner.There is a few other professions that I have as well. I simplly leave them out of discussion here due to terms of service and I did not join a fish forum to use it as a spring board to promote them. Yet when a thread such as this comes along I will indeed offer counsel that is cut from another cloth that I wear.

Yet, there is this who said people need to be a trained professional to offer life advice.

Though indeed marriage must be worked out by the 2 involved to that I say hear hear.
 
hmmm...."Dear Abbey" = "internet".....untold experts with no proof of any qualifications...
 
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