Is a Loyal Boyfriend Hard to Find?

Emg said:
When you do meet someone, I'm sure you will sooner or later........pay attention to how he talks about his parents..ESPECIALLY his Mom !!....Very Important in my opinion...having been there and done that ! ..... (do this right off the bat, because you don't want to be wasting any of your time or his if things aren't going to work out)

Is he respectful to them ? Does he love and respect his mother ?? Because I'll tell you right here and now, if he has no respect for HER...he sure isn't going to be treating you any different sooner or later down the road...believe me ! (But that's getting way ahead of things here....lol...first you want to meet him !)
Click to expand...

This is an excellant piece of advice. One of the first things I noticed about my husband is that he would go home from college just for Sunday dinner with his family at his grandma's house. But do find a guy that puts it in proper perspective..when you are married, you should come first.

OH...and DON'T move in with him !!! All the so called "logical" reasons for doing so suck wind....sorry, but they do ! If he wants the priviledge of living with you and all the benefits that apply to that arrangement....make him earn it by walking down the aisle with you......
Click to expand...

Another great statement. A part of me really wanted to **** my parents off by living with him (yes, I was an evil child) ...but be realistic and look down the road. You loose so much by not being married, especially if you have children, the main thing being self respect.



All this is great advice..and it applies to guys looking for girls too... :) I know there are guys out there looking for the right girl too. How does a girl relate to her family? Her dad??
 
Last edited:
The advice about seeing how a man treats/speaks about his parents is good...it's very telling about how he views relationships. That was something that I was very conscious about when I was dating my husband...family relationships are very important to him...and now family is very important to us in our life together. The bonus for me is my inlaws are incredible people, and are a wonderful part of my life. :)

Regarding living together, I think that decision depends on your personal values, and marriage isn't more than a "piece of paper" to some people. I know a number of happy families where the parents have chosen not to be married, and are still together many years later. At the same time, I know a few people who did get married, had kids, and then divorced in the end.

I did choose to live with my husband before we were engaged, and am very happy that I did. Marriage was important to me too, though, and was a topic of discussion before we moved in together. We were engaged a few months after moving in together, and then married a year or so after that. :)
 
Just a point, people...Sharing your opinion on living together outside of marriage is fine, but let's not be pushy and presume too much, okay? Living together is like everything else in this world--in can be a terrible burden that does nothing to enhance a relationship, or it can be heaven. Judging someone else because of a simple choice like this is absurd.

Oh, and yes, I am one of those ya'll are judging. I am quite certain I lost no self-resect, nor dignity, nor anything else for having chosen to live with the man I ended up marrying before getting married. And if you think differently--that's in your eyes, and no concern on mine. Do I think everyone should live together before marriage? Nope. It worked for me, it doesn't work for others. Leave it at that.
 
I have just a couple points... When I was in my late teens and early 20's, the LAST thing I wanted to hear was that I was "too young" to be worried about finding a meaningful relationship. Maybe Riso doesn't feel that way, but I always hated people telling me I was "too young" to worry about finding Mr. Right.

I moved in with a boyfriend when I was 19 years old. We both had jobs, we paid our bills, we took care of ourselves and we had a BLAST!! We weren't looking to get married or have kids right off the bat, we just had fun! It didn't last, we broke up when I was 21, but I still don't regret doing it!

So, we broke up and I asked him to move out on Tuesday... And I SWORE to myself that I would NOT date anyone seriously for at LEAST a YEAR. On that Friday night, I didn't want to go home because he was still in the process of moving out and I didn't want any hassle, so a friend of mine offered me to go out with her and her boyfriend that night... Her boyfriend brought along a friend too. A totally unplanned set of circumstances... And now his friend is my wonderful husband of 6.5 years. (BTW-We dated for a year and a half, then lived together for a year and a half, THEN got engaged.)

All I'm saying is you never know when he's going to happen along. It may not be at the best time in your life. And like Blueiz said, it may be when you're 19, or 21 or 31... or 41.

:)
 
Thanx to everyone for their advice. I'm not in a rush, it's just that I get lonely alot, and that longing feeling comes along. I would like it to be someone who's a best friend first, I often hear that those relationships do well. I know everything will take time, and my GrandFather always tells me that it'll happen when I'm least expecting it. Seems to be funny how life turns out that way.:)
My biggest thing right now is that I need some frineds to hang out with. Most of my friends from college live too far from me, and I graduated last year, so I don't see them anymore. You guys are right though, I should try to find a club of some kind to meet with nearby. I have a few interests I think I could look into. Thanx again.
BTW, I personally don't want kids, nor do I really need to be married. Unless he wants to marry me, that's fine. I guess it must be that I'm sympathetic in that some women push for so too much that it scares the guy. The other thing is that I want to make sure he loves animals too, I just think it would work out better that way. I feel bad too that guys have to get up the nerve to go up to a girl and be rejected in a rude fashion sometimes, some women are just mean. I also think it sad that when a guy really wants someone loyal himself, often he gets dealt the same as some women when it comse to cheating. While I'm willing to comprimise with someone, I don't plan on letting anyone treating me like dirt. I think they'd get it right back if that happened, then I'd walk out the door. I'll take my time, I know that I get ahead of myself with worry, but I guess that it's just that I don't want to feel alone in my struggles. Again, thanx to everybody giving me advice and words of wisdom. ~Angela
 
nursie said:
This is an excellant piece of advice. One of the first things I noticed about my husband is that he would go home from college just for Sunday dinner with his family at his grandma's house. But do find a guy that puts it in proper perspective..when you are married, you should come first.
Click to expand...

ABsolutely Nursie ! I was going to mention something about that, but the post was going to be a bit lengthy as it was....lol.....thanks for pointing that tidbit out !

You sure as heck don't want a MOMMAS boy !! Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference, but if he seems to be afraid of making mom mad if he doesn' show up one sunday...it's a sure sign he's still attached to the apron strings....
 
aknif said:
I have just a couple points... When I was in my late teens and early 20's, the LAST thing I wanted to hear was that I was "too young" to be worried about finding a meaningful relationship. Maybe Riso doesn't feel that way, but I always hated people telling me I was "too young" to worry about finding Mr. Right.
......
All I'm saying is you never know when he's going to happen along. It may not be at the best time in your life. And like Blueiz said, it may be when you're 19, or 21 or 31... or 41.

:)
Click to expand...

Yeah, I guess that expression does get old, but it doesn't bother me. I think when you realize that you can pair up with someone and not go through life alone, you just start to wonder how long it'll be 'til you have someone to be with. I hope it happens when I'm young though, I want to be able to still do lots of things when I meet that person, as well as having the security of not having to wait for someone anymore. The one pet peeve that I get is when peopel tell me "Oh, you're too young to know whether or not you want kids, just wait til you get a little older..." I've known ever since I was a little girl I didn't want kids. I never really played with dolls, or rush to hold a friend's baby either, what's that tell you? I want a very indepedent life, thanx. ~Angela
 
I totally agree with OG....every situation is unique and different, and what works for some doesn't necessarily work for others. My husband and I lived together for 7 years before we got married....and the only thing that really changed after marriage was my name! We just had our 20th wedding anniversary in August....has it been all sunshine and roses? Nope, we've had our share of ups and downs. Relationships always take work from both parties. Do I want to kill him sometimes....of course! he wouldn't be a husband if he didn't make you feel that way occasionally....lol. Am I glad we lived together first....absolutely....it worked for us!

And yes, A....I was a child bride....lol ;)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
AquariaCentral.com
Top Bottom