How about learn to like poop.
Your avatar is kind of ironic
Have you tried spraying them with water? What if you put a sprinkler out aimed at the window of the truck?
I would choose airsoft over paintball because it is cheaper. And if you look in comparison at two hits on a person, one from a paintball, the other with an airsoft bb, you would much rather get hit by the airsoft. It wont do 1/25th of the damage a paintball gun would do.
Your avatar is kind of ironic
Have you ever asked your neighbor to try shooting the bird? Pretty sure hens dont have 4 legs.
OH, I got an idea
chase it into your neighbors yard with a pile of worms on the ground. See if it lands, and if your neighbor instantly runs out and shoots it.
Oh, wait, he probably would have shot the worms by then.
Timing is everything in comedy Jeff.Too bad this is serious, it makes for a hilarious read.
I bet that Fishfriend1 (Travis) could help you in this regard. Designing and building overly complicated systems of spraying water all over the place is right up his alley!